Remember in college when people would get stoned and be like “What if…”
Lionsgate
(If you’re a younger person not yet in college, please know that’s not what happens in college. You just study and be responsible. Thank you.)
Well, a lot of people on Twitter are asking “What if…” questions, but thankfully their what ifs, while just as stupid, are a lot funnier:
1.
First, there were awkward sex “what if” tweets, like this one:
3.
And DEFINITELY this one:
It is very weird that boobs are like so sexual but also just for milk. Like what if penises also had Caesar salad.
4.
This “what if” was theological in an absurd kind of way:
5.
Ditto for this one:
[ creating bats ]
god: well we already made birds
angel:
god:
angel: what if they were goth
god: omg what IF they were goth tho
![twitter [ creating bats ]
god: well we already made birds
angel:
god:
angel: what if they were goth
god: omg what IF they were goth tho](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1157629999496749056/JcMVQU-R_normal.jpg)
6.
This “what if” will have you thinking:
What if when u go to sleep ur brain downloads tomorrow’s episode of ur life. anyway have a good day guys
7.
This one might too, at least for a little while:
What if they traveled from the future to deliver themselves? *hits blunt* https://t.co/CLLgPpS2MZ
8.
But this one…not so much:
9.
This tweet explains Stephen King’s career:
stephen king’s mind:
what if dog…bad?
what if car…bad?
what if clown…bad?
what if hotel…bad?
10.
This one explains Bruce Willis’:
Bruce Willis: There are four elements, right?
Producer: Go on…
Bruce: What if there was a FIFTH element
Producer: Love it
Bruce: Ok, you know there are five senses…
[Half an hour later]
Producer: Please, I have a family
Bruce: So what if there were TWELVE monkeys?
![twitter Bruce Willis: There are four elements, right?
Producer: Go on...
Bruce: What if there was a FIFTH element
Producer: Love it
Bruce: Ok, you know there are five senses...
[Half an hour later]
Producer: Please, I have a family
Bruce: So what if there were TWELVE monkeys?](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/864957115714109441/Pw5PiKWO_normal.jpg)
11.
And this one explains, well, daylight saving time:
12.
This Spotify “what if” made me LOL:
what if college had yearly wrap ups like spotify did
This year you:
Passed 4 tests
Cried 2948 times
Failed 3 classes
Switched majors 6 times
Had an existential crisis twiceThis is a big deal!
13.
And hey, so did this one:
What if your debit/credit card had a yearly wrap up like Spotify.
“You bought 243 Crunchwrap supremes in 2019”
“You frequented Taco Bell at 2 a.m.”
“You spent $753 on coffee this year”
14.
Speaking of funny:
Me: what if you had a stew
Fantasy writer: I’m listening
me: but it wasn’t hearty
Fantasy writer: get out
15.
Then there were music-related what ifs, like this one:
What if Stacey’s mom was Jessie’s girl and her phone number was 8675309?
Never mind, some of y’all are too young for that mind blower. 😂
16.
And this one that made me go, “Twitter, cut it out!”:
17.
Disney might want to try this “what if”:
hear me out
what if there were a movie
let’s call it…….GALACTIC BATTLES
starring Oscar Isaac and John Boyega
as the gayest captains of a starship crew
and they kiss like all the time
18.
This one is sorta unsettling but also funny:
19.
And lastly, this kid’s “what if” will make your head explode:
My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey’s whole life” and none of the parenting books I’ve read have prepared me for this question.
