If we really care about changing our life, we must give an intensive care to our attitude toward ourselves, things and toward other people. As the Spanish philosopher Ortega once said; ‘we human beings are born with a sense of disorientation’, that means we have the ability to change and mold our life in the order that we desire.’ Our ideas shape our tomorrow, if they are well chosen and positive, they will change our attitude toward all that we get in contact, and we will alter our present and future life.
Success is not luck or fate as some people think, success is a matter of applying some rules and attitude is on top of the list. People who are always successful are successful because of their good attitude and their belief in their success, they do not take adversity or failure as something permanent, they simply think of failure as the way to success.
The simple guarantee is a healthy attitude.
Our attitude tells the world what we expect, we can In-tune our attitude every morning while we’re still at home, when we are preparing to go out to the world, to meet other people, people reflect our attitude. It is a matter of cause and effect, if we are cheerful, others reflect it, if we are gloomy, others reflect that too. We are responsible of our life, we get back what we put off, our surroundings reflect us, they are a mirror of ourselves, great attitude=great results, bad attitude=bad results. If we develop the habit of being in a state of good attitude as much as we can during the day, we will find ourselves transmuted from the deep darkness to the sunlight. We will find ourselves solving our problems easily, and benefiting from every moment of the day. If we take a good attitude with a feeling of gratitude for all that we already have and expect the best from life, life will give us what we expect. Unfortunately some people react to the circumstances, if they are good they feel good, and if the circumstances are gloomy, they become gloomy, they change their attitude according to the outer world, they conform, they change according to the changes in the circumstances, they do not try to create their own circumstances, they follow other people, when people meet them with adversities and criticism or they confront a problem, they take a defensive negative attitude which masks their sight and never try to take a positive objective attitude which will help them to see more clearly and solve or turn around the problem, they spend their life in misery and fail to shift their attitude and ultimately change their lives. They wait for people to react towards them instead of letting other people know what they expect from them by letting them know what they really want from their heart, from their interior core, not the outer world, they just wait for the wind to turn, or the tide to change and just conform and let others think and decide for them, and as a result of that, and since it is not their decision, it is not what they want in their deep self, they take a defensive bad attitude toward everything and ruin their future, their dreams and their entire life.
What does good attitude have to do with success?
People with good attitude do successful outstanding jobs, they expect the good from everything and find the good even in adversities, and they know that achievement is a natural order because they fix a goal and work with persistence until they achieve it no matter what it takes. Unsuccessful people think that those people are lucky; they say that successful people are born under a lucky star; they don’t know that luck is when preparedness, persistence and expectancy meet success.
My friend go after your goals, expect to fulfill them and have a good attitude, don’t expect the world to change, when we change, people change, practice good attitude, we interact with people through our attitude, life is dull only for dull people, life is successful for successful people. As the German philosopher Goethe once said;’ before you can do something you must be something’. And in order to get the help necessary from other people to accomplish your goals, treat every person as the most important on earth, make people feel that they are important. Carry out your good attitude to the world every day, don’t let people and circumstances change your attitude, forgive who ever hurts you or treats you improperly and forget it, get rid of it, the bad attitude of others is infectious, we don’t have time for such weeny things, stay far as much as possible from negative people. Finally a great attitude connects us to beautiful things and our life will get better and better as we go on, let us work on becoming part of the top 5% successful people in the world, we have been given a beautiful world, let us use properly the gifts we received at birth to contribute in the advancement of this world, no matter how big or small our contribution is, we do our best in all what we do for our benefit and the benefit of everyone.
What makes a great leader today? Many of us carry this image of this all-knowing superhero who stands and commands and protects his followers. But that’s kind of an image from another time, and what’s also outdated are the leadership development programs that are based on success models for a world that was, not a world that is or that is coming. We conducted a study of 4,000 companies, and we asked them, let’s see the effectiveness of your leadership development programs. Fifty-eight percent of the companies cited significant talent gaps for critical leadership roles.
That means that despite corporate training programs, off-sites, assessments, coaching, all of these things, more than half the companies had failed to grow enough great leaders. You may be asking yourself, is my company helping me to prepare to be a great 21st-century leader? The odds are, probably not. Now, I’ve spent 25 years of my professional life observing what makes great leaders. I’ve worked inside Fortune 500 companies, I’ve advised over 200 CEOs, and I’ve cultivated more leadership pipelines than you can imagine. But a few years ago, I noticed a disturbing trend in leadership preparation. I noticed that, despite all the efforts, there were familiar stories that kept resurfacing about individuals.
One story was about Chris, a high-potential, superstar leader who moves to a new unit and fails, destroying unrecoverable value. And then there were stories like Sidney, the CEO, who was so frustrated because her company is cited as a best company for leaders, but only one of the top 50 leaders is equipped to lead their crucial initiatives. And then there were stories like the senior leadership team of a once-thriving business that’s surprised by a market shift, finds itself having to force the company to reduce its size in half or go out of business. Now, these recurring stories cause me to ask two questions. Why are the leadership gaps widening when there’s so much more investment in leadership development? And what are the great leaders doing distinctly different to thrive and grow? One of the things that I did, I was so consumed by these questions and also frustrated by those stories, that I left my job so that I could study this full time, and I took a year to travel to different parts of the world to learn about effective and ineffective leadership practices in companies, countries and nonprofit organizations.
And so I did things like travel to South Africa, where I had an opportunity to understand how Nelson Mandela was ahead of his time in anticipating and navigating his political, social and economic context. I also met a number of nonprofit leaders who, despite very limited financial resources, were making a huge impact in the world, often bringing together seeming adversaries. And I spent countless hours in presidential libraries trying to understand how the environment had shaped the leaders, the moves that they made, and then the impact of those moves beyond their tenure.
And then, when I returned to work full time, in this role, I joined with wonderful colleagues who were also interested in these questions. Now, from all this, I distilled the characteristics of leaders who are thriving and what they do differently, and then I also distilled the preparation practices that enable people to grow to their potential. I want to share some of those with you now. (“What makes a great leader in the 21st century?”) In a 21st-century world, which is more global, digitally enabled and transparent, with faster speeds of information flow and innovation, and where nothing big gets done without some kind of a complex matrix, relying on traditional development practices will stunt your growth as a leader.
In fact, traditional assessments like narrow 360 surveys or outdated performance criteria will give you false positives, lulling you into thinking that you are more prepared than you really are. Leadership in the 21st century is defined and evidenced by three questions. Where are you looking to anticipate the next change to your business model or your life? The answer to this question is on your calendar. Who are you spending time with? On what topics? Where are you traveling? What are you reading? And then how are you distilling this into understanding potential discontinuities, and then making a decision to do something right now so that you’re prepared and ready? There’s a leadership team that does a practice where they bring together each member collecting, here are trends that impact me, here are trends that impact another team member, and they share these, and then make decisions, to course-correct a strategy or to anticipate a new move.
Great leaders are not head-down. They see around corners, shaping their future, not just reacting to it. The second question is, what is the diversity measure of your personal and professional stakeholder network? You know, we hear often about good ol’ boy networks and they’re certainly alive and well in many institutions. But to some extent, we all have a network of people that we’re comfortable with. So this question is about your capacity to develop relationships with people that are very different than you. And those differences can be biological, physical, functional, political, cultural, socioeconomic. And yet, despite all these differences, they connect with you and they trust you enough to cooperate with you in achieving a shared goal. Great leaders understand that having a more diverse network is a source of pattern identification at greater levels and also of solutions, because you have people that are thinking differently than you are.
Third question: are you courageous enough to abandon a practice that has made you successful in the past? There’s an expression: Go along to get along. But if you follow this advice, chances are as a leader, you’re going to keep doing what’s familiar and comfortable. Great leaders dare to be different. They don’t just talk about risk-taking, they actually do it. And one of the leaders shared with me the fact that the most impactful development comes when you are able to build the emotional stamina to withstand people telling you that your new idea is naïve or reckless or just plain stupid. Now interestingly, the people who will join you are not your usual suspects in your network. They’re often people that think differently and therefore are willing to join you in taking a courageous leap.
And it’s a leap, not a step. More than traditional leadership programs, answering these three questions will determine your effectiveness as a 21st-century leader. So what makes a great leader in the 21st century? I’ve met many, and they stand out. They are women and men who are preparing themselves not for the comfortable predictability of yesterday but also for the realities of today and all of those unknown possibilities of tomorrow. Thank you. (Applause).
As found on Youtube
There’s a man by the name of Captain William Swenson who recently was awarded the congressional Medal of Honor for his actions on September 8, 2009. On that day, a column of American and Afghan troops were making their way through a part of Afghanistan to help protect a group of government officials, a group of Afghan government officials, who would be meeting with some local village elders.
The column came under ambush, and was surrounded on three sides, and amongst many other things, Captain Swenson was recognized for running into live fire to rescue the wounded and pull out the dead. One of the people he rescued was a sergeant, and he and a comrade were making their way to a medevac helicopter. And what was remarkable about this day is, by sheer coincidence, one of the medevac medics happened to have a GoPro camera on his helmet and captured the whole scene on camera. It shows Captain Swenson and his comrade bringing this wounded soldier who had received a gunshot to the neck. They put him in the helicopter, and then you see Captain Swenson bend over and give him a kiss before he turns around to rescue more. I saw this, and I thought to myself, where do people like that come from? What is that? That is some deep, deep emotion, when you would want to do that.
There’s a love there, and I wanted to know why is it that I don’t have people that I work with like that? You know, in the military, they give medals to people who are willing to sacrifice themselves so that others may gain. In business, we give bonuses to people who are willing to sacrifice others so that we may gain. We have it backwards. Right? So I asked myself, where do people like this come from? And my initial conclusion was that they’re just better people. That’s why they’re attracted to the military. These better people are attracted to this concept of service. But that’s completely wrong. What I learned was that it’s the environment, and if you get the environment right, every single one of us has the capacity to do these remarkable things, and more importantly, others have that capacity too.
I’ve had the great honor of getting to meet some of these, who we would call heroes, who have put themselves and put their lives at risk to save others, and I asked them, “Why would you do it? Why did you do it?” And they all say the same thing: “Because they would have done it for me.” It’s this deep sense of trust and cooperation. So trust and cooperation are really important here. The problem with concepts of trust and cooperation is that they are feelings, they are not instructions. I can’t simply say to you, “Trust me,” and you will. I can’t simply instruct two people to cooperate, and they will. It’s not how it works. It’s a feeling. So where does that feeling come from? If you go back 50,000 years to the Paleolithic era, to the early days of Homo sapiens, what we find is that the world was filled with danger, all of these forces working very, very hard to kill us.
Nothing personal. Whether it was the weather, lack of resources, maybe a saber-toothed tiger, all of these things working to reduce our lifespan. And so we evolved into social animals, where we lived together and worked together in what I call a circle of safety, inside the tribe, where we felt like we belonged. And when we felt safe amongst our own, the natural reaction was trust and cooperation. There are inherent benefits to this. It means I can fall asleep at night and trust that someone from within my tribe will watch for danger. If we don’t trust each other, if I don’t trust you, that means you won’t watch for danger.
Bad system of survival. The modern day is exactly the same thing. The world is filled with danger, things that are trying to frustrate our lives or reduce our success, reduce our opportunity for success. It could be the ups and downs in the economy, the uncertainty of the stock market. It could be a new technology that renders your business model obsolete overnight. Or it could be your competition that is sometimes trying to kill you. It’s sometimes trying to put you out of business, but at the very minimum is working hard to frustrate your growth and steal your business from you.
We have no control over these forces. These are a constant, and they’re not going away. The only variable are the conditions inside the organization, and that’s where leadership matters, because it’s the leader that sets the tone. When a leader makes the choice to put the safety and lives of the people inside the organization first, to sacrifice their comforts and sacrifice the tangible results, so that the people remain and feel safe and feel like they belong, remarkable things happen. I was flying on a trip, and I was witness to an incident where a passenger attempted to board before their number was called, and I watched the gate agent treat this man like he had broken the law, like a criminal.
He was yelled at for attempting to board one group too soon. So I said something. I said, “Why do you have treat us like cattle? Why can’t you treat us like human beings?” And this is exactly what she said to me. She said, “Sir, if I don’t follow the rules, I could get in trouble or lose my job.” All she was telling me is that she doesn’t feel safe. All she was telling me is that she doesn’t trust her leaders. The reason we like flying Southwest Airlines is not because they necessarily hire better people. It’s because they don’t fear their leaders. You see, if the conditions are wrong, we are forced to expend our own time and energy to protect ourselves from each other, and that inherently weakens the organization. When we feel safe inside the organization, we will naturally combine our talents and our strengths and work tirelessly to face the dangers outside and seize the opportunities. The closest analogy I can give to what a great leader is, is like being a parent.
If you think about what being a great parent is, what do you want? What makes a great parent? We want to give our child opportunities, education, discipline them when necessary, all so that they can grow up and achieve more than we could for ourselves. Great leaders want exactly the same thing. They want to provide their people opportunity, education, discipline when necessary, build their self-confidence, give them the opportunity to try and fail, all so that they could achieve more than we could ever imagine for ourselves. Charlie Kim, who’s the CEO of a company called Next Jump in New York City, a tech company, he makes the point that if you had hard times in your family, would you ever consider laying off one of your children? We would never do it.
Then why do we consider laying off people inside our organization? Charlie implemented a policy of lifetime employment. If you get a job at Next Jump, you cannot get fired for performance issues. In fact, if you have issues, they will coach you and they will give you support, just like we would with one of our children who happens to come home with a C from school. It’s the complete opposite. This is the reason so many people have such a visceral hatred, anger, at some of these banking CEOs with their disproportionate salaries and bonus structures. It’s not the numbers. It’s that they have violated the very definition of leadership. They have violated this deep-seated social contract. We know that they allowed their people to be sacrificed so they could protect their own interests, or worse, they sacrificed their people to protect their own interests. This is what so offends us, not the numbers.
Would anybody be offended if we gave a $150 million bonus to Gandhi? How about a $250 million bonus to Mother Teresa? Do we have an issue with that? None at all. None at all. Great leaders would never sacrifice the people to save the numbers. They would sooner sacrifice the numbers to save the people. Bob Chapman, who runs a large manufacturing company in the Midwest called Barry-Wehmiller, in 2008 was hit very hard by the recession, and they lost 30 percent of their orders overnight. Now in a large manufacturing company, this is a big deal, and they could no longer afford their labor pool. They needed to save 10 million dollars, so, like so many companies today, the board got together and discussed layoffs. And Bob refused. You see, Bob doesn’t believe in head counts.
Bob believes in heart counts, and it’s much more difficult to simply reduce the heart count. And so they came up with a furlough program. Every employee, from secretary to CEO, was required to take four weeks of unpaid vacation. They could take it any time they wanted, and they did not have to take it consecutively. But it was how Bob announced the program that mattered so much. He said, it’s better that we should all suffer a little than any of us should have to suffer a lot, and morale went up. They saved 20 million dollars, and most importantly, as would be expected, when the people feel safe and protected by the leadership in the organization, the natural reaction is to trust and cooperate.
And quite spontaneously, nobody expected, people started trading with each other. Those who could afford it more would trade with those who could afford it less. People would take five weeks so that somebody else only had to take three. Leadership is a choice. It is not a rank. I know many people at the seniormost levels of organizations who are absolutely not leaders. They are authorities, and we do what they say because they have authority over us, but we would not follow them. And I know many people who are at the bottoms of organizations who have no authority and they are absolutely leaders, and this is because they have chosen to look after the person to the left of them, and they have chosen to look after the person to the right of them. This is what a leader is.
I heard a story of some Marines who were out in theater, and as is the Marine custom, the officer ate last, and he let his men eat first, and when they were done, there was no food left for him. And when they went back out in the field, his men brought him some of their food so that he may eat, because that’s what happens. We call them leaders because they go first. We call them leaders because they take the risk before anybody else does. We call them leaders because they will choose to sacrifice so that their people may be safe and protected and so their people may gain, and when we do, the natural response is that our people will sacrifice for us.
They will give us their blood and sweat and tears to see that their leader’s vision comes to life, and when we ask them, “Why would you do that? Why would you give your blood and sweat and tears for that person?” they all say the same thing: “Because they would have done it for me.” And isn’t that the organization we would all like to work in? Thank you very much. Thank you. (Applause) Thank you. (Applause).
As found on Youtube
What’s up everybody? This is Charlie from Charisma on Command, and today I’m going to be doing a leadership breakdown of Steve Job. And I say leadership very specifically because unlike a lot of people you might have seen me do on this channel before, Steve Jobs was not the world’s most likable guy. In fact, a lot of the people who worked most closely with him would describe him as very abrasive.
But what he was undeniably a master at was inspiring and leading people. When he came back to Apple to turn that company around, he had employees, customers, investors, all who were doubting what Apple was capable of. Yet he led them to be, literally, the most profitable company in the world at one point in time. So, what I want to do is talk about how he was able to do that, and it starts with a vision. There needs to be someone who is sort of the keeper and reiterator of the vision, because there’s just a ton of work to do, and a lot of times, you know, when you have to walk a thousand miles, and you take the first step, it looks like a long way, and it really helps if there’s someone there saying “Well, we’re one step closer,” you know.
The goal definitely exists. It’s not just a mirage out there. So in a thousand and one little, and sometimes larger ways, the vision needs to be reiterated. I do that a lot. So this, perhaps, the most important role of the leader is to set a clear achievable and persuasive vision, because whether you’re managing a group of small people, or an entire company, that group will tear itself apart as it runs in the direction of individuals. What it needs is a uniting purpose, a uniting vision that is constantly in everybody’s mind so that they are all moving in the same direction to move that company or that group forward. So I want to talk about, now, what exactly the vision that Steve has set forward for Apple was, and why it was so compelling. What we’re about isn’t making boxes for people to get their jobs done, although we do that well. We do that better than almost anybody in some cases, but Apple’s about something more than that.
Apple, at the core, its core value, is that we believe that people with passion can change the world for the better. That’s what we believe in. Now, this is the core vision, the core value, whatever, the core passion, whatever you want to call it, that Steve Jobs has set out for his employees, and for the people who bought his products. It’s that people with passion can change the world. And I want to talk about why this vision was seemingly very broad is, actually, incredibly effective. One, it’s very simple; almost any of the marketing messages that you’ve heard from Apple or Steve Jobs boil down to just a few words, certainly one sentence. So, if you think back, there was the iPod campaign that was “1,000 songs in your pocket.” The first time that I saw Steve Jobs talk about what the computer was.
He said it’s like a bicycle for the mind. You need to keep your vision, your core set of values very, very simple, because your employees, the people beneath you, the people who are buying your products, they need to be able to communicate it succinctly to the people around them. Step two and this is seemingly contradictory. This isn’t about, you know, we’re going to be the number one computer maker in the entire world, which is what the mission is for a lot of companies.
This goes beyond being number one. This goes beyond making a lot of money. This goes to a fundamental human need, which is to do something that matters, right? To have work that has a lasting impact that can change the world. If your vision is in inspiring people on an emotional level, if you’re just firing them up with the promise of higher compensation, that vision will fall flat on its head. The last thing is that Steve Jobs didn’t just have this vision in his head.
He was ruthless about living by it. A lot of people, when they talk about company visions, or even their own personal life visions, it’s a flowery set of words that they don’t actually make decisions by. Steve Jobs was ruthless in cutting product lines that he didn’t think would change the world, that he didn’t think Apple could be the best at. He constantly was refocusing his people on this vision of doing something big that was going to change the world, and, honestly, that was their heyday was when they came out with the iPod and the iPad, and even the iMac before that. That focus on the vision is what made it so powerful. That is what inspired the people around him, and if you’ll look at his employees, as what we’ll do in just a second, they picked up the message loud and clear.
I have to say, of all the people I’ve met, there is nobody, clearly, nobody like Steve. When you are next to him and he was talking to you, you could feel the electricity in your body. You could feel his charisma, and it wasn’t it’s because he was a cult leader or anything, you just, actually, could feel it, because I’m not necessarily a cult follower. And, he made you feel he could inspire you. He made you feel like you could do anything. And as long as you believe that, you, really, could do anything, as long as you’re willing to sacrifice everything else. So, really, that’s what Steve Jobs did for the people around him, the people under him that worked for him. He made them feel like they could not only change the world, but that anything was possible if they worked hard enough, and so, they were willing to go to really extreme measures to pull the kind of things off that he asked for were oftentimes were quite frankly, technologically infeasible and ridiculous, and very, very hard to pull off, but they managed to do it because of this belief that it was possible, that passionate people could change the world.
Now, this was not the only thing that Steve Jobs had going for him. In fact, there’s a lot of other stuff, but the second one that I want to touch on, now, is what got people emotionally riled up, and it’s that Steve Jobs spoke in high stakes metaphors. Let’s check it out. Sun is, if you will, are our friend, because they’re going to spend their marketing money to convince people to move into this segment. But the minute they’ve made their choice to move into the segment, whether we’ve convinced them or Sun has convinced them, Sun and NeXt are mortal enemies.
So, there you go, mortal enemies; not something you’d expect someone who talks about computers, microprocessors, and workstations to describe a business battle ads, but that gets people fired up. In other words, if we zoom out the big picture, it would be a shame to have lost the war because we won a few battles. And, I sort of feel like I, and so are the rest of us, are concentrated too much on the smaller battles, that, and we’re not keeping the war in perspective, and the war is called survival. Again, he’s talking about survival, war, smaller battles.
These are all very human, emotionally-driven, archaic-type of things, almost. These go back hundreds, if not thousands, of years, and people have a lot of reference points to think about what war, battle, survival means, all the way throughout history; some people, even, from personal experience. So, when you talk in this sort of terms, and this sort of metaphors, and not just in, “Okay, we’ve got to win or we might lose our jobs.” This gets people emotionally engaged, and that was something that Steve Jobs was able to do to an incredible level with his own employees. Well, Big Blue dominates the entire computer industry, the entire information age. Was George Orwell right? So that’s Steve Jobs talking about IBM, Big Blue, and how they have the majority of market share in the 1980s, and, again, this is not one that I love, but it is incredibly effective–creating an enemy. Throughout Apple’s history, Steve Jobs always had an enemy in mind. At some point, it was Microsoft, it was Big Blue, there.
Other times, it was just conformity, in general. There was the PC guy versus the Mac guys. There’s always an antithesis in the way that he speaks, and having that enemy, again, gets people incredibly fired up. They feel like their survival is on the line. They feel like they need to win a battle, and they worked that much harder; not a tactic that I’m a huge fan of, because I don’t think that the world needs to be perceived in terms of us versus them, all the time, but from Steve Jobs’ perspective, this works, this, absolutely, got people working harder for him. So you start with this very clear, very simple vision that gets people moving in the same direction, something that they’re excited about.
You add to that this jet fuel of emotionally-charged metaphor, and in the case of Steve Jobs, he talked about wars, he talked about survival, and he added this element of this looming enemy that people needed to fight and struggle against. That gets people moving very, very passionately. But that all falls apart if one piece isn’t there, and, fortunately, for Steve Jobs, it’s something that he had in spades, which is conviction. Steve Jobs believed everything that he said to a fault.
He had this vision of the world that he truly felt was going to come true, and when he communicated with people, they sensed how much he believed it, and that certainty made them jump on to his bandwagon. So I wanted to go, now, to John Scully. This is the guy who was asked to be the CEO of Apple when Steve Jobs was working there. He was currently the CEO of Pepsi, and here he is, recounting the story of how Steve Jobs got him to leave his cushy gig at Pepsi. And then, he looked up at me, and just stared at me, with this stare that only Steve Jobs has, and he said, “You want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or do you want to come with me and change the world?” And I just gulped because I knew I would wonder for the rest of my life what I would have missed.
And there you have it. That is what fires people up. Now, I don’t have a ton of time to talk about how to develop conviction, maybe, that’s for a topic for another video. If you’re interested in that, go ahead and let me know in the comments. But there’s one way that conviction comes through very, very clearly, and it’s in the choice of words that we use. Our words betray the way that we feel all the time. And if you’ll look at Steve Jobs, he, oftentimes, didn’t talk in terms of possibilities.
He talked in certainties. He would say, “We are this.” “We will release this computer by this date.” He talked as if things had already happened, which is, actually, a very similar thing to Conor McGregor, if you’ve seen that breakdown. So I just want to show one example when he come back to Apple, how he talked about the company bouncing back, and it wasn’t we will likely do this, you know, we can do this. It is “We will do this.” I really, deeply appreciate all of the commitment that’s in this room and with the people not in this room that is turning this company around.
This company is absolutely gonna turn around. As a matter of fact, I think the question now is not, “Can we turn around Apple?” I think that’s the given for us. I think it’s, “Can we make Apple really great again?” So there you go. This company is absolutely going to turn around. Whatever comment that you do is you pay particular attention to the words that you find yourself using when you’re speaking to people trying to persuade them. Oftentimes, we say exactly what we think, and we show other people exactly how we feel. See if you are speaking with certainty or, actually, if you’re betraying the fact that you’re very uncertain yourself. This isn’t something you can fake. This is communicated in a thousand micro expressions, in your vocal tonality, and in your word choices. So, if you want to have the conviction around something you’re saying, you first need to have confidence. So, I set up a separate video with an exercise. It is designed to give you a scientifically-proven boost of confidence inside of 60 seconds, so that you can speak with the conviction of someone like Steve Jobs.
This is the type of thing that I do before I record a video, before I get on stage, and it can, basically, take you from that feeling of nervous anxiety, not speaking very clearly, tripping over your words, to speaking much more fluidly, much more connected with what you have to say, and communicating to the people around you in a much more effective manner.
As found on Youtube
I read an article on the 11 habits you need to change in your calendar if you want to succeed. The article was written by Project Management Hacks – Bruce Harpham.
The 11 Habits are divided in 2 groups:
Basic Calendar Habits
- Review Today’s Calendar
- Review Tomorrow`s Calendar
- Create “Meetings with Myself”
- Schedule Travel Time
- Write Down All Appointments (Personal and Professional)
Advanced Calendar Habits
Write Supporting Details In Calendar Entries
- Complete Weekly Reviews
- Create Repeating Appointments
- Minimize your productivity toolkit
- Say no to others
- Say no to your self
Why we have too few women leaders was the theme that Sheryl Sandberg on TedTalks
So for any of us in this room today, let’s start out by admitting we’re lucky. We don’t live in the world our mothers lived in, our grandmothers lived in, where career choices for women were so limited.
And if you’re in this room today, most of us grew up in a world where we have basic civil rights, and amazingly, we still live in a world where some women don’t have them. But all that aside, we still have a problem, and it’s a real problem. And the problem is this: Women are not making it to the top of any profession anywhere in the world.
The numbers tell the story quite clearly. 190 heads of state — nine are women. Of all the people in parliament in the world, 13 percent are women. In the corporate sector, women at the top, C-level jobs, board seats — tops out at 15, 16 percent. The numbers have not moved since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction. And even in the non-profit world, a world we sometimes think of as being led by more women, women at the top: 20 percent. We also have another problem, which is that women face harder choices between professional success and personal fulfillment. A recent study in the U.S. showed that, of married senior managers, two-thirds of the married men had children and only one-third of the married women had children.
A couple of years ago, I was in New York, and I was pitching a deal, and I was in one of those fancy New York private equity offices you can picture. And I’m in the meeting — it’s about a three-hour meeting — and two hours in, there needs to be that bio break, and everyone stands up, and the partner running the meeting starts looking really embarrassed.
And I realized he doesn’t know where the women’s room is in his office. So I start looking around for moving boxes, figuring they just moved in, but I don’t see any. And so I said, “Did you just move into this office?” And he said, “No, we’ve been here about a year.” And I said, “Are you telling me that I am the only woman to have pitched a deal in this office in a year?” And he looked at me, and he said, “Yeah. Or maybe you’re the only one who had to go to the bathroom.” (Laughter) So the question is, how are we going to fix this? How do we change these numbers at the top? How do we make this different? I want to start out by saying, I talk about this — about keeping women in the workforce — because I really think that’s the answer.
In the high-income part of our workforce, in the people who end up at the top — Fortune 500 CEO jobs, or the equivalent in other industries — the problem, I am convinced, is that women are dropping out. Now people talk about this a lot, and they talk about things like flextime and mentoring and programs companies should have to train women. I want to talk about none of that today, even though that’s all really important. Today I want to focus on what we can do as individuals. What are the messages we need to tell ourselves? What are the messages we tell the women that work with and for us? What are the messages we tell our daughters? Now, at the outset, I want to be very clear that this speech comes with no judgments. I don’t have the right answer. I don’t even have it for myself. I left San Francisco, where I live, on Monday, and I was getting on the plane for this conference.
And my daughter, who’s three, when I dropped her off at preschool, did that whole hugging-the-leg, crying, “Mommy, don’t get on the plane” thing. This is hard. I feel guilty sometimes. I know no women, whether they’re at home or whether they’re in the workforce, who don’t feel that sometimes. So I’m not saying that staying in the workforce is the right thing for everyone. My talk today is about what the messages are if you do want to stay in the workforce, and I think there are three. One, sit at the table. Two, make your partner a real partner. And three, don’t leave before you leave. Number one: sit at the table. Just a couple weeks ago at Facebook, we hosted a very senior government official, and he came in to meet with senior execs from around Silicon Valley. And everyone kind of sat at the table.
He had these two women who were traveling with him pretty senior in his department, and I kind of said to them, “Sit at the table. Come on, sit at the table,” and they sat on the side of the room. When I was in college, my senior year, I took a course called European Intellectual History. Don’t you love that kind of thing from college? I wish I could do that now. And I took it with my roommate, Carrie, who was then a brilliant literary student — and went on to be a brilliant literary scholar — and my brother — smart guy, but a water-polo-playing pre-med, who was a sophomore.
The three of us take this class together. And then Carrie reads all the books in the original Greek and Latin, goes to all the lectures. I read all the books in English and go to most of the lectures. My brother is kind of busy. He reads one book of 12 and goes to a couple of lectures, marches himself up to our room a couple days before the exam to get himself tutored. The three of us go to the exam together, and we sit down. And we sit there for three hours — and our little blue notebooks — yes, I’m that old. We walk out, we look at each other, and we say, “How did you do?” And Carrie says, “Boy, I feel like I didn’t really draw out the main point on the Hegelian dialectic.” And I say, “God, I really wish I had really connected John Locke’s theory of property with the philosophers that follow.” And my brother says, “I got the top grade in the class.” (Laughter) “You got the top grade in the class? You don’t know anything.” (Laughter) The problem with these stories is that they show what the data shows: women systematically underestimate their own abilities.
If you test men and women, and you ask them questions on totally objective criteria like GPAs, men get it wrong slightly high, and women get it wrong slightly low. Women do not negotiate for themselves in the workforce. A study in the last two years of people entering the workforce out of college showed that 57 percent of boys entering, or men, I guess, are negotiating their first salary, and only seven percent of women. And most importantly, men attribute their success to themselves, and women attribute it to other external factors. If you ask men why they did a good job, they’ll say, “I’m awesome. Obviously. Why are you even asking?” If you ask women why they did a good job, what they’ll say is someone helped them, they got lucky, they worked really hard. Why does this matter? Boy, it matters a lot.
Because no one gets to the corner office by sitting on the side, not at the table, and no one gets the promotion if they don’t think they deserve their success, or they don’t even understand their own success. I wish the answer were easy. I wish I could go tell all the young women I work for, these fabulous women, “Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself. Own your own success.” I wish I could tell that to my daughter. But it’s not that simple. Because what the data shows, above all else, is one thing, which is that success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. And everyone’s nodding, because we all know this to be true. There’s a really good study that shows this really well. There’s a famous Harvard Business School study on a woman named Heidi Roizen. And she’s an operator in a company in Silicon Valley, and she uses her contacts to become a very successful venture capitalist. In 2002 — not so long ago — a professor who was then at Columbia University took that case and made it [Howard] Roizen.
And he gave the case out, both of them, to two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: “Heidi” to “Howard.” But that one word made a really big difference. He then surveyed the students, and the good news was the students, both men and women, thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent, and that’s good. The bad news was that everyone liked Howard. He’s a great guy. You want to work for him. You want to spend the day fishing with him.
But Heidi? Not so sure. She’s a little out for herself. She’s a little political. You’re not sure you’d want to work for her. This is the complication. We have to tell our daughters and our colleagues, we have to tell ourselves to believe we got the A, to reach for the promotion, to sit at the table, and we have to do it in a world where, for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that, even though for their brothers, there are not. The saddest thing about all of this is that it’s really hard to remember this.
And I’m about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me, but I think important. I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago to about 100 employees, and a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there sitting outside my little desk, and she wanted to talk to me. I said, okay, and she sat down, and we talked. And she said, “I learned something today. I learned that I need to keep my hand up.” “What do you mean?” She said, “You’re giving this talk, and you said you would take two more questions. I had my hand up with many other people, and you took two more questions. I put my hand down, and I noticed all the women did the same, and then you took more questions, only from the men.” And I thought to myself, “Wow, if it’s me — who cares about this, obviously — giving this talk — and during this talk, I can’t even notice that the men’s hands are still raised, and the women’s hands are still raised, how good are we as managers of our companies and our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities more than women?” We’ve got to get women to sit at the table.
Make your partner a real partner:
I’ve become convinced that we’ve made more progress in the workforce than we have in the home. The data shows this very clearly. If a woman and a man work full-time and have a child, the woman does twice the amount of housework the man does, and the woman does three times the amount of childcare the man does. So she’s got three jobs or two jobs, and he’s got one. Who do you think drops out when someone needs to be home more? The causes of this are really complicated, and I don’t have time to go into them. And I don’t think Sunday football-watching and general laziness is the cause. I think the cause is more complicated. I think, as a society, we put more pressure on our boys to succeed than we do on our girls. I know men that stay home and work in the home to support wives with careers, and it’s hard.
When I go to the Mommy-and-Me stuff and I see the father there, I notice that the other mommies don’t play with him. And that’s a problem, because we have to make it as important a job, because it’s the hardest job in the world to work inside the home, for people of both genders, if we’re going to even things out and let women stay in the workforce. (Applause) Studies show that households with equal earning and equal responsibility also have half the divorce rate.
And if that wasn’t good enough motivation for everyone out there, they also have more — how shall I say this on this stage? They know each other more in the biblical sense as well. (Cheers) Message number three: Don’t leave before you leave. I think there’s a really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking — and I see this all the time — with the objective of staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving. Here’s what happens: We’re all busy.
Everyone’s busy. A woman’s busy. And she starts thinking about having a child, and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. “How am I going to fit this into everything else I’m doing?” And literally from that moment, she doesn’t raise her hand anymore, she doesn’t look for a promotion, she doesn’t take on the new project, she doesn’t say, “Me. I want to do that.” She starts leaning back. The problem is that — let’s say she got pregnant that day, that day — nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath — Fast-forward two years, more often — and as I’ve seen it — women start thinking about this way earlier — when they get engaged, or married, when they start thinking about having a child, which can take a long time.
One woman came to see me about this. She looked a little young. And I said, “So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?” And she said, “Oh no, I’m not married.” She didn’t even have a boyfriend. (Laughter) I said, “You’re thinking about this just way too early.” But the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone who’s been through this — and I’m here to tell you, once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because it’s hard to leave that kid at home.
Your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding. You need to feel like you’re making a difference. And if two years ago you didn’t take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities, you’re going to be bored because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal. Don’t leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave to take a break for a child — and then make your decisions. Don’t make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you’re not even conscious you’re making. My generation really, sadly, is not going to change the numbers at the top. They’re just not moving. We are not going to get to where 50 percent of the population — in my generation, there will not be 50 percent of [women] at the top of any industry.
But I’m hopeful that future generations can. I think a world where half of our countries and our companies were run by women, would be a better world. It’s not just because people would know where the women’s bathrooms are, even though that would be very helpful. I think it would be a better world. I have two children. I have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. I want my son to have a choice to contribute fully in the workforce or at home, and I want my daughter to have the choice to not just succeed, but to be liked for her accomplishments.